Glimpse into an exciting move!

Hi there!

Just a reminder to say that this site has moved across to www.glimpsinggembles.com for a fresh, new look! Pop over and take a look around; I am excited to see you there!

Glimpse into a new look!!

Hello! The launch of the new Glimpsing Gembles Blog is here!



The site is here to bring you various posts; from recipes I create, to book and product reviews, to ideas for living a fulfilling life. Dealing with chronic illnesses is a part of my life, so experiences surrounding this will also feature (because let's face it, living with health problems is no walk in the park, and we could all do with shared venting, support and advice!).

I have been blogging for about 2.5 years now, and the site was in need of a facelift! I am so grateful for all of your support so far; the old site has had 28, 221 views as this post goes live, so thank you very much for taking the time to visit! I really hope that you enjoy the new look, and I would love to hear your thoughts, suggestions and advice!

I look forward to getting to know you all if you are new, and checking in with my old faithful readers! Please say hello via the comments, email or social media, and tell me a bit about yourself!

http://www.glimpsinggembles.com/

Glimpse into blog tweaks

I love to write and to share my ideas and experiences on my blog. I am constantly thinking of new ways to make it more interesting and give my readers a blog which they enjoy. Due to my health, it is quite hard for to me remain consistent, but I try my best, and you are all so understanding and patient with this! I wanted to share with you some new ideas and updates I have for the blog, so here they are.                                                              

Glimpse into fighting for the life you want to live

Having chronic illnesses is like being a tightrope walker, juggling twenty different balls, with one arm tied behind your back and a blind fold over your eyes.

 *

You are forever fighting against losing every aspect of your life which is important to you, while at the same time finding the delicate balance of where to step so as to not over do it and make yourself more unwell. Sometimes I fear that I have dropped too many things - I do not work, I can not study, I do not exercise, I barely attend social functions, I often can not do my hobbies, I have moved back in with my parents; so much of what makes me me is currently not part of my life. Sometimes I feel so shaken and distraught by the thought that I am getting older and I am missing out a crucial part of my life. I know that I have fought; every day I work towards better health. I know that I do not make excuses, I have definite goals, and I am determined to reach them. The body's weaknesses are hard to beat though, and I am on a long, slow road. Finding that happy medium, where you do not give up, where you battle against the odds to reach your goals, and where you do not push too far that you create damage; that is the real challenge of living with chronic illness.

Reassessing what you want from your life is often part of the answer. Making realistic goals will get you further. I have posters on my wall with my goals written on them. These goals are not the same as the ones I had 2, 5, or 10 years ago. Some are smaller versions of them. Some are completely new ones, born out of the rediscovery of myself through the shake up that illness is to life. Some seem huge to me now, but I know that if I can keep fighting, I can keep working towards them.

While you work towards these goals, find something that you find rewarding that is within your capabilities. Try so hard to not be the illness. You are you, and there are so many things that make you you, and only you can fight to keep them within. Every little step in the right direction, as small as it is, takes you a step closer to good health, and a step closer to getting back the life you want and deserve.

 

I am thankful for what my body still allows me to do, but there is so much that I miss out on and I want to do everything in my power to do all that I want to do with my life. Look deep into yourself and find what it is you want to fight for, and claw back to that point with every fibre of your being. We can do it.

 

 *In trying to find tight rope walking photos, I stumbled across this photo of Chinese acrobat, Aisikaier, who tight rope walked 656 feet over a ravine, blind folded. Moments before the reaching the end, he felt dizzy and fell. Amazingly, he walked away from it with barely a scratch! Everyone has to give what they are passionate about a go, no matter how crazy it may seem! 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2170881/Chinese-tightrope-walker-plummets-ground-trying-high-wire-stunt-backwards-AND-blindfolded.html

Glimpse into end of year best wishes

Hello there! I truly hope that you have all had a lovely Christmas. I had a beautiful time with my small family, revolving around good food, thoughtful presents, Christmas movies, board games, love and happiness. Thankfully, my body allowed me a couple of fairly good days, and I was able to join in on the quiet celebrations at home. Since Boxing Day, I have felt pretty well wiped out though, however, when you deal with chronic illness, I think that is a fairly good trade. I am also a cricket addict, and I think Boxing Day is the best time of year (leftovers and cricket, thank you!), so I have quite happily rested on the couch in front of the test match since.

I am sorry that I did not complete my planned festive month of blog posts. I did not have a great few weeks health wise, and sometimes even the best laid plans go astray! I will still post them, they just will not be Christmas-style.

I just wanted to pop in and say that I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, and that you all enjoy safe and happy New Year celebrations.
I look forward to bringing you more blog posts and recipes in the New Year! Thank you for all your support this year.

Glimpse into the new man in my life!!

Hello all! I apologise for my recent absence from the blog. One of the ironic things about keeping a blog about life with chronic illnesses is that the chronic illnesses sometimes keep you from the blog!

Something exciting which has happened during the time though is that a puppy chose me to be his human! 

Meet Albi, the Shih Tzu.... 

I have written previously about how beneficial animals can be in improving health and wellbeing, and Albi is no exception! My daily incidental movement (including countless stair climps for frequent puppy toilet breaks!) has increased substantially. I have something to be excited about to do for the day. I have someone to give me countless cuddles and endless attention (and plenty of puppy mischief!). He is even tiring me out so much that I haven't used sleeping tablets since he arrived! He keeps me company and makes me smile all the time. 

Obviously, these are all small things in the scheme of everything that is going on, but it all definitely helps my ability to cope! I researched for months and months and decided on the Shih Tzu, and I am so glad I did. He is so clever and inquisitive, full of fun and energy but totally happy to snuggle with me while I rest for hours, and is absolutely win-over-everyone cute! I am in love.

I highly recommend you find an animal to cuddle as soon as possible!

Glimpse into another diagnosis - POTS & RBBB

My health journey has taken another turn in the past fortnight. Mid February, I visited a cardiologist, after having had a tilt table test performed in December, and discovered that I have Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). This explains a great deal, such as the light headedness, dizziness, palpitations, low blood pressure, nausea, brain fog and fatigue. It is mind blowing for me that this hasn't been discovered sooner. I have had the symptoms since I was a child, and although I've had other diagnosis made such as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and although it is a bit like the chicken or the egg in terms of determining which symptom or condition came first, it is amazing that it has taken til I'm nearly 30 to make the diagnosis. There have been several chances for this diagnosis to be made in the past, and it took me requesting the tilt table test (the diagnostic test used to diagnose issues related to blood pressure and heart rate) to actually get it done. I really can't stress enough how important it is to be your own advocate in the health care setting.

Glimpse into Motivation Monday - week 8 2014

This week's Motivation Monday...

 

This is especially apparent in chronic illness, due to the ongoing unwell times and loneliness, and then the stressful visits to doctors, endless tests, worry about employment and your lack of independence, and how you will get your life back on track, the loss of friends, and life plans and loved activities. Sometimes it can all feel unbearable. 

What I try to tell myself when I feel like this is that this is just how life goes. This is what it is all about, and by getting through the tough times, we get to the good times. Some things are hard, and they hurt, and they are unfair, but if we can not change them we should not focus on them. It is the hard things that we do have control over which we should put our energy into. Let go of the unchangeable, accept it, and adjust to it, and work on what you can change.

And sometimes, when everything happens at once, it will be the good things. 

 

Just take each ball as it comes. Accept the strikes, and hit the others out of the ball park. We can do it.

Glimpse into Motivation Monday - week 7 2014

Welcome to the new blog series... Motivation Mondays! To get things started, here is an idea to think about this week....

 "Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin.
Beginning makes the conditions perfect."

 

A big part of having a chronic illness is waiting. Waiting for answers, waiting for results, waiting for improvements. It could be easy to fall into the trap of putting your life on pause, and just waiting. As I often say though, this is our life, we only have this one chance, and it is up to you whether you let your illness become you, or whether you let it only be a part of you. If we wait for that miraculous moment when we feel healthy again, we may have let a great chunk of our life ramble past us like a tumble weed. Maybe you can not do the exact thing that you want to do, but find an option that makes you happy. For example, I can not work at the moment due to my health. I love my work as a nurse, so in the meantime, I keep myself happy learning more, and reading and writing about health. In doing so, I have discovered a new path for myself and love the idea of helping people improve their overall wellness through improved nutrition and lifestyle choices. Find your option! Begin, and keep happy and strong, and things will get better!

If you are healthy and thankfully free of a chronic health issue, this still applies to you! What are you putting off which you could do now? What if you put off that dream job until you are more confident, or when the kids are older, or when the sun, moon and earth are at a 45 degree angle, and you find yourself in an unexpected situation that keeps you from that dream job?! Act now. You don't know what could change down the track. Be brave, begin, and the happiness and self love that comes from beginning will make you strong enough to keep going.

Do not wait; begin. 

Glimpse into the New Year

Today is New Year's Day. A day typically dedicated to reflection and statements of intentions. Every New Year for the past 3 years, I have made New Year's resolutions. These have all revolved around my health and improving its state of deterioration, which had begun to speed up between 2008 and 2010. Each year, I felt more determined than the previous to work harder at finding out what was wrong with me, how to fix it, and go about doing so. And at the conclusion of each year, I was left feeling varying levels of failure because of these resolutions. (Although, 2013 has probably revealed a lot more potential than other years, even if it has been one of the worst for my body.) So this year, as 2013 began to wrap up, and 2014 loomed closer, I decided to not make a resolution. I felt I did not want the self imposed pressure, when I already know that I am doing my best to improve my health. More specifically, I didn't want that added feeling of failure when reflecting on previous resolutions, when my health battles are frustrating enough.

However, on the day of New Year's Eve, as I read people's statements, and listened to them explore their purpose and decisions, I began to think that maybe I do need a New Year's Resolution. After all, it is but a goal, and I constantly have small, medium and large goals in my life, which all of you with chronic health problems will understand too well. So after mulling over what I need to improve or appreciate or stop doing or start doing, I came to this conclusion. In 2014, I will just be.

          ~ Let go. Just be. ~

I am constantly over thinking things in my head, partly due to having too much time to over think, partly due to the frustrating dead-end feeling that comes with chronic illness. I find myself unnecessarily worrying, or unnecessarily being frustrated or saddened by some one's actions, or building something up and then being unnecessarily disappointed when it doesn't happen that way. Chronic illnesses takes what you thought was normal, and throws it up in the air and causes it to land in a million different directions and angles. I have said it before and I will say it again; we need to allow ourselves to step out from the dark cloud that chronic illness is, and enjoy what we do have. Live in the moment. We don't get to do this "life" thing twice (as far as we know!), and it seems ridiculous to let it slip past us, while we let illness tarnish our thoughts, alter our plans and change our happiness. Obviously, chronic illness comes in all shapes and sizes, and inevitably our thoughts, plans and happiness will be effected. Also, chronic illness requires determination, motivation, strength and perseverance to battle, so I am not saying we can just sit back and hope all will go the way we would like.
However, somehow, in the blur of pain, confusion, frustration, and sickness, we need to find a way to see the good in a moment, not just the discomfort. In 2014, I need to, we need to, just be.
           Happy New Year!

Glimpse into Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

A couple of weeks ago, I went to see my doctor, and came out feeling like we had had a break though. I have been seeing him for close to a year now, and he has tested me for so many conditions in an attempt to explain my symptoms. I have had several tests come back out of whack, and now, along with a new result showing that I have had Ebstein Barr Virus in the past, combined with my symptoms and ruling out other similar conditions, he has officially diagnosed Myalgic Encephalitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Along with that I already knew I also have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (an autoimmune condition), multiple food intolerances, Fructose Malabsorption, low parathyroid function, and a couple of other things I will have to monitor.

 

Glimpse into socialising with chronic illness

I had an invitation to join a not to be missed, important and happy family celebration in the form of a high tea at a hotel on Sunday. This posed many problems for my body...preparation to get ready for a fancy tea, a long train trip to get to the hotel, an unknown in terms of the food, and hours spent away from my rest inducing couch. I was however, determined and optimistic to make it to this special do.

Glimpse into the briefest of updates

The redo of my parathyroid hormone level came back on Friday super low again. However, the other levels that usually are effected with this problem were not as out of whack as you might expect. So today, after advice from my specialist, I had more bloods taken, and will test my parathyroid level again...third time is a charm! I have even stumped the endocrinologist specialist! More waiting...more tests...more unknowns...
On the upside, the test for arthritis of the spine came back negative, so that is a win right there.

Glimpse into the chronic illness rollercoaster

I have had another week riding the rollercoaster that is chronic illness and the hunt for answers and treatment.

 

Glimpse into Gembles; smiling from the inside

I have had postural hypotension for so long that for the majority of the time, I can be losing my vision or feeling dizzy and lightheaded, and people around me do not know! In the same sense, I am realising that I can be feeling nauseous, aching, and exhausted inside these days, but people will comment on how well I am managing a task, and that I am having such a good day! I give them a shocked reaction, thinking "what?! But I feel gross!"

Today, I am thinking that this may indicate:
1.) That I am getting a little better, slowly slowly! Yay!
2.) That I am dealing with what I am faced with, and learning how to manage my gentle activities without giving into the discomfort (because I am so lucky and have so much help and support throughout the day).
3.) That I am risking slipping back into my old thinking of pushing myself so that I can do the things I want to do, and so the things that will make others happy are done, and I could overdo it.
4.) That my positivity and attempt to keep my attitude strong and happy is starting to take effect.

Glimpse into Gembles; working on a good attitude for the week!

The past couple of weeks have been filled with more bad health days than good. I have, however, been able to meet a friend's gorgeous newborn son, managed to treat myself to a beautiful new dress, sat in the sun with a good friend who I have not seen in months, and had some relaxed girl time with the bestie, and Mum. These lovely events broke up the hours of nausea, stiffness, head aches, fatigue, brain fog, some personal sadness, and blood tests.

Glimpse into our driving forces

I have a post, about dealing with insomnia, ready to put up on my blog, but right now, as I lie on the couch feeling very unwell, and needing to distract myself from my body, I find myself writing another.
I am worried that I am not reacting well to the latest medication addition. I really hope not. It is hard to tell sometimes, whether I am just having a particularly bad week in the life of being in this body, or whether the symptoms are caused by something else! So it will be off to get blood tests done soon, to see if anything can be identified.

Days like these make me think about what gets us going. What pulls our eyelids open, enables us to swing our aching legs around to the side of the bed, and put one slow foot in front of another?

Glimpse into the Boston Marathon bombing

 

We need to stop waking up like this; waking to news from overseas of something horrible happening.

I woke this morning to the sound of my parents' phone ringing. It was missed, and then it rang again. I heard Dad get up and answer it, and say hello to my aunt. Then after a little while I heard him say ''Oh my gawd", the words and tone he uses when something bad shocks him. He said this and then walked downstairs, still talking to my aunt, so I was left unable to hear if something was wrong. I rolled over and found a text on my phone from Mum, saying my brother and his fiance were ok, so that made me get out of bed, needing to know what was going on. I am glad at least that I was staying at my parents' house.

Glimpse into a "Welcome To Your New Life" book review

(Book two of ten for Project 29.)

On a rainy Sunday afternoon on April 7th, I started to read Anna Goldworthy's book, "Welcome To Your New Life". I had found it that day in one of my favourite bookstores (Mary Ryan's in Brisbane) after a morning filled with yoga and breakfast with a friend. Bliss.
The first pages easily pulled me in (in case the amazingly gorgeous cover photo hadn't already), and I could tell that this book was written in a funny and interesting way. The subject matter is not one I would normally purchase a book about. Pregnancy, birth plans and welcoming a new family member are all things that I would love to experience, and hope to one day, but they won't be part of my life any time soon. That said, it seemed an odd book choice for me, but good reviews and the light and humerous way in which it appeared to be written intrigued me. And hey, a girl can dream.
I loved this book. It made me laugh out loud; it made me sad and anxious for the family; it made me desperately want to experience having a child; it made me thankful that I am child free! It was a simple read, but well written and kept me wanting to read more. Goldworthy looks into the many aspects of pregnancy, child birth, and the difficult and love filled event that is raising a child. The book also looks into attempting to combine adult life with children. It even contemplates life, death and the important questions in between.
I recommend this to anyone who is pregnant or plans to be, anyone who has had children, and anyone who has an interest in life and the making and ending of it. Even if you have no thoughts of having children but you want a good laugh, grab a copy!

Glimpse into life's forks on Monday April 8th, 2013

As I sit here at my laptop, the rain bellowing above me on the tin roof, the beautiful sounds of Vivaldi, Handel and their fellow genius composers accompanying my keyboard taps beside me, and the contents from my mug of hot tea warming my belly, I am contemplating that we call life, and the intention behind it. Deep, I know. Maybe a little too deep for a Monday afternoon. But what is one to contemplate when alone on a rainy day? I have no other plans for the day, let alone the week, due to unpredictable health issues that can one minute give my body its freedom, and the next have it falling deeply between the couch cushions, hoping the world will stop its noisy spinning.
Early last year something happened to some people who are very special to me, and it really made me question my beliefs of the notion that there is something, someone, bigger than us all, leading and guiding us through our journey. As most people do at some stage or another, I questioned that if there is such a being, then how can it bear to have us all suffer so much.
After the past few months however, I suddenly feel like so much has changed for me that I can not ignore the idea that something is guiding me. Everything that I have worked for, planned, lived and fought for was placed in a big metaphorical cardboard box, and shaken until there were only shattered splinters left inside. It feels like I had put myself on the wrong path, and someone or something was hinting and warning me, but I was ignoring its whispers, so it resorted to wiping my entire slate clean. Ignore me will you, it said. Take that.
So I suddenly find myself at the fork of a new path. The old one stretched temptingly to the left, the new one panning frighteningly to the right. It is impossible to ignore the upheaval and pass it off as a bump in the road.
I have decided I will take the road to the right. It is horrifying and exhilarating. But what I am learning is that when that fork does slam us in the face with its sharp prongs, we don't have to smash the old path up and throw it in a giant skip. We can take the pieces we choose with us. We can pick the memories, the lessons, the hopes and the people, and pack them up with us in our bags, and wear them on our backs, and their weight will keep us grounded and warned, warmed and strengthened.